friday, man

and now, some Tosh.O:

- "Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's, like, "Whatever, queer"

- "I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed"

- "Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, "Hey, at least I'm not pregnant"

- "Babies aren't dishwasher-safe"